Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Top 5 Marriage Tips

This is not the end-all be-all list of marriage tips but these are my favorite.

5 - Always be teachable.

Marriage like any growing entity needs nourishment and cultivation. Try to be in a constant state of learning and growing. Listen and learn from all the books, speakers, pastors, friends, family, blogs that you can. There will never be a point where you have nothing left to learn.

4 - Understand that you are in control of you.

In Boundaries In Marriage by Townsend and Cloud, they go deeper on this topic. Essentially, you are in control of your emotions, thoughts and actions. No one can make you feel angry or cause you to pursue the silent treatment or be impatient or yell. You can choose how you act and react. By realizing that you are in control of you and only you, you can take ownership of yourself and bring peace to a stressful situation.

3 - Always assume the best of your spouse.

If you are in a normal marriage where you both essentially love each other but sometimes don't always act that way, it's good to always give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. If he says something in the wrong way or does something you don't like, don't first assume that he did it to spite you or to get you angry. Think the best. Then communicate and show him why his way or method may come off wrong to you.
2 - Communicate clearly and specifically.

Men and women think differently. Sometimes we as women want our spouse to know what we're thinking and that's not always possible. It's okay and even good to clearly spell out expectations or hopes or desires. Just because he can't read our minds doesn't make him insensitive or unloving. He simply just can't read our minds. Communicate matter of factly without intense emotion and be specific as possible. Our men want to know what we're thinking.

1 - Love like Christ.

Above all else, love sacrificially. We are to submit to one another and husbands are to love their wives like Christ loves the church. Wives need to submit to and respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:21-33 explains it further. Ultimately, we are to love and give and submit to our spouse. One will care for the other's needs and vice versa and thus both needs are met.

Marriage is hard work. But the harder we work at it, the better it will be.

1 comment:

Flame Lilly said...

Y that is a great post!! It was great meeting you! If you haven't read it already, you should read Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti, by Will & Pam Farrell! It's brilliant. My folks use it in pre-marital counseling all the time. There are some great blogging chapters in it!!!:)