The Haircut

Titus, my 15 month old, had his first haircut this week. But unfortunately, it was from his sister! I was cleaning in the kitchen and they were playing in the other room. The kid scissor's are usually in reach for Ellie, my 3 year old, because she's usually good at using it properly... except for this time.

While I was doing dishes, Ellie came pouncing in exclaiming, "Mommy, look at this!" She was holding a large clump of hair in her hand. I wasn't sure whether to scold or laugh. After the shock, I merely chuckled and said, "Ellie, is that your hair or Titus' hair?" "Titus's," she responded gleefully. I went into our play room and found clumps of hair everywhere. "Ellie, you can't cut Titus' hair anymore, do you understand? Scissor are for crafts only," I said firmly but gently. "Okayyy," she droned.

Lesson accomplished, discipline averted. In instances like these I am tempted to scold and be more harsh on Ellie but when I give it some thought, I realize she was never told not to cut Titus' hair so should she be disciplined for ignorance? I don't think so, at least not in this case. Different scenarios may cause different outcomes.

When I tell this story to my other mom friends, the first question I get is "What did you do?" or "How did you respond?" I answer, "I laughed, told her not to do it again and cleaned up the hair that seems to keep magically appearing everywhere I go in my house."

I believe that kids are kids and they sometimes will do childish things. We should keep that in mind when we discipline. Don't get me wrong-- I do understand that truth and grace come together. I try to discipline for outward defiance not brought on by extraneous circumstances. For example, if you've overloaded your child with activity, or skipped a nap, or let them go hungry too long and they act up, is that their fault or yours? Be constantly aware of external circumstances in your child's life. When those factors are involved, a little bit of grace needs to present. When it's sheer will, then yes, truth needs to be present.

But there needs to be a proper balance of the two. How do we know if we've got it balanced? Read books from noted authors on parenting. Ask older men and women whom you admire whether they agree with your discipline style and tactics or not. Ask peer moms and dads that you trust what their thoughts are. And ultimately pray that your discipline style is honoring to God.

Of course, you will get varying opinions on your specific style. However, you are not looking for complete agreement; you are looking for a general thumbs up or thumbs down--a "I don't think you have anything to worry about" or a "I have a few concerns..."

Ultimately, you are accountable to God on how you raise your children. But God has placed godly men and women in your life to sharpen you. Be open, be humble, be teachable--the things that you want to instill in your children as well. Be what you want them to be and act how you want them to act and all will be well. They are watching and learning and storing every bit of information in their little heads for a lifetime.

While cleaning up Titus' hair clumps on the ground, I asked, "Why did you cut Titus' hair?" Ellie responded, "It was too long." And I immediately remembered conversations with my husband recently before the incident in which we said to each other, "Titus' hair is too long. He needs a haircut."

Presents and a Tree for Easter?

So today is Thursday and we continued our Easter celebration by buying presents to wrap to open on Easter. Let me just say that I don’t plan to do this for the rest of the kids’ lives but since they are only 3 and 1, to balance Christmas and Easter on the same level, my husband and I decided that it was a good decision for the time being. We told the kids (well, mostly Ellie, my 3 year old) that they get presents because Christ gave us the biggest present of all, giving His life for us. So we wanted to give each other gifts to remind ourselves that Jesus gave the biggest gift. My daughter loves to wrap presents too so it was a thrilling morning.

By the way, I ended up putting the tree back up (reference to my last post). We were at the store and Ellie saw these little Easter ornaments so I thought it would be cute to put them on our dying potted Christmas tree. I just wanted to correlate Easter and Christmas and if this helps in any way, the ugly tree has done it's job. I read somewhere that to help connect that two holidays, another family has the tradition of cutting two limbs from their Christmas tree and saving it. When Easter comes around, they make the limbs into the cross and the connection is made. I thought that was a great idea but unfortunately, we bought a small tree this year so it wouldn't be a hazard for my son. Maybe next year.

After decorating the tree, Ellie brought up the fact that she wanted to make more Easter crafts and “decorate the house” so we also made large construction paper crosses, eggs, angels, and lilies to hang around the house. I cut the shapes out and let her decorate them with stickers and markers. We hung them around the house with colorful pipe cleaners and Titus, my 15 month old, was in awe.

The activities continued through the night as we made our Easter cookies. I went to Michael’s and only found some Spring type of cookie cutters, and I thought that that would be all I had to work with, but while my husband was buying buttermilk for making pancakes on Good Friday morning, I found a cross, church, egg, and chick cookie cutter at Albertson’s! What a find! I was ecstatic! Ellie helped roll the dough out and decorate the cookies with sprinkles and other candies. (Note: Smarties are not meant for cookie decorating-- they melt.) We (I) wrote “Happy Easter” and “Jesus” on some of the cookies with edible markers found at Michael’s as well. It was an enjoyable evening. There’s nothing more adorable then your daughter with flour all over her face and clothes.

As I write about these activities, you can tell that our artistic ability is limited. But when you have a 3 year old, everything’s a masterpiece to them. If you are inhibited by your right-brain abilities or lack thereof, remember that you will always be a Van Gogh in your toddler or preschooler’s eyes. Don't shy away from crafts just because they might not look good. Remember that the process is more meaningful than the product.

Tomorrow I will head on over back to Michael’s to buy bags to put the cookies in to give to friends and neighbors so I can teach Ellie the value of giving and sharing. I hope you found this post helpful or inspiring in any way. Please share things you have done to make Easter meaningful for your family. Now, what to do about Good Friday?

Crosses & Crafts: An Easter Celebration

It is the Wednesday before Easter and trying to make the holiday season memorable for my 3 year old daughter and 18 month old son has been a task. We did the Easter egg hunt which was actually fun for both of them, with minimal output since we took them to our church’s Eggstravaganza. Many cities’ parks and rec programs also hold Easter egg hunts for the community.

But besides the eggs and candy, I found my 3 year old lacking in enthusiasm about this holiday season and I came to the conclusion that the one to blame was me. I further realized how different Christmas and Easter is celebrated, even though the greater event should be the latter. The incarnation of the Son of God was a grand feat, don’t get me wrong. But shouldn’t the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ be even more celebrated? I came to terms with society’s lack of enthusiasm and embarked on a plan to make Easter just as great as Christmas!

After telling my daughter that we will soon celebrate Easter and maybe we should decorate the house, she asked, “But where’s our tree?”

I thought about the dying potted Christmas tree in the front yard that we hadn’t watered since Christmas. We had bought a potted tree hoping that we could plant it and see it grow by the following Christmas. We had forgotten that neither my husband nor I had green thumbs and have killed many a plant. The thought still lingered in my mind to bring the tree in and make egg and cross ornaments for it. The thought is still lingering.

My daughter, tonight, had a great idea. She simply had some two paper towel rolls she found in my stash of “household items that may be someday used for craft projects” pile and was forming it into a cross. I then took a ribbon and tied the two rolls together and she proudly put it on top of the television, proclaiming, “It’s just like the church house!”

Then after dinner, she excitedly exclaimed, “Let’s make Easter crafts!” So at a wink’s notice, I resorted to my default craft: Dioramas with shoeboxes. So we glued a tomb inside the shoebox using crumpled brown paper and slit a hole in the box on the side to slip in a movable stone. Then we just decorated the back and added an angel and two women and the craft was done. Midway through, she found some pipe cleaners and had already moved on to the next craft at hand.

“Can we make a craft with these?” she asked eagerly.
“Um, okay,” I answered.

Pipe cleaners… pipe cleaners… what to do with pipe cleaners…: of course, lets make a cross. So I helped her form the bendable fuzzy material into a cross to which we attached a ribbon and made a necklace. Fortunately it was time for bed and I evaluated the object lessons of the day and was glad my daughter loves crafting with her mom.

Tomorrow may be Easter cookie day. Probably not the “Resurrection Cookies” being passed around Christian circles made with vinegar and walnuts. They didn’t sound too appetizing, but I may be wrong. We’ll just bake the sugar kind (probably pre-made) to be cut in shapes of crosses, eggs, and flowers. For a 3 year old, that’s more than enough excitement.

Now I need to think of something to do for Good Friday, the following Saturday, and Easter Sunday. And I think I’ll pass on viewing Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” as my husband suggests with a smirk.