The Art of Accountability

“No man is an island.” ~ John Donne

In my younger years, I’ve sometimes assumed an island identity. The immaturity of youth and the pride of self made me believe I was only accountable to myself and to God. Yet as I’ve grown older, I’ve found peer accountability invaluable.

Accountability in any stage of our lives is essential, but even more so as we are parents. I know I am indebted to strong Christian women in my life who have poured and are pouring into me with prayer, advice, instruction, and rebuke. But what does true accountability look like? Is it just sharing what’s going on in our lives? I don’t think so. Here are my 5 C’s to effective accountability:

1-Choose an intimate group. Whether there’s just two or five, it depends on you and your group. But a small group is needed for intimacy and transparency.

2-Clarify confidentiality. Make sure everyone in the group knows that what’s said in the group, stays in the group, unless mentioned otherwise.

3-Care for one another. This is basic enough. Be good listeners, show compassion, share with honesty.

4-Confront each other on tough issues. If you have concerns about another peer’s thoughts, actions, or character, true accountability necessitates calling each other out and speaking the truth in love. “As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another” ~Proverbs 27:17.

5-Commit to prayer. Share what’s going on in each other’s lives and commit to praying for each other.

If you have these five components in your accountability group, you are on the road to success in forming accountability that truly sharpens.


** To help you get started, here are a few suggested questions:

-How is your spiritual walk going?
-How is the communication between you and your husband and children?
-How are you showing love to your husband and children?
-In what area(s) would you like to improve in your parenting or marriage?